Because why not....

Songs stuck in my head (in a good way) -


Lucy Skidmore



Be with you

& for your morning entertainment - 


Whale - Cousin Joe Twoshacks

We have the booty

Excerpt from Fluke by Christopher Moore

"This is why we are the dominant species on the planet, because we have booty."

"Technically, man is not the dominant species.... So man isn't really dominant, whether it's brains or booty."

"Baby, I wasn't saying that man was the dominant species, I was saying that we are the dominant species. Wo-man."

"Because you have booty?"

She wiggled on his lap by way of an answer, then leaned her forehead against his, looked in his eyes.

"Good point," Clay said.

There will always be a debate between the sexes about who really rules the roost, so to say.  Men will claim men do, while without a doubt women will say that they do.  There are those who will side with the other sex saying that "My wife runs this family" or "My husband is the head of our house".  I'm sure all are true & correct.

Personally, I think that a sense of balance is best.  There's nothing better, in my opinion, than a man who would do any & everything for his woman, & a woman who wouldn't think of taking advantage of that fact.  A couple who wants the best for the other & does what they can do to support the other.  Who dream, plan, & wish together for the best life for them as a couple & as individuals.

At the risk of sounding like an O'Henry story {Link} - I hope to have that relationship.  I want to know that I'm #1 to somebody, that they would give anything for me - for what I wanted, what I needed.  That they would be willing to give to me just as much as I would for them.  Not just monetary, that's not where the heart resides - at least not for me.  I want time, touch, & positive loving words.  If you will give me your all, I will wholeheartedly return it & more to you.

Rethinking

• "There is no dishonor in losing the race, there is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose."

Wow.... If that doesn't speak volumes

Quotes that struck me at the time

• "But I'm a racer at heart, & a racer will never let something that has already happened affect what is happening now."

I think then that I certainly need to be more of a racer.  I try to approach things & events as something new, without preconceived ideals or notions.  But let's be honest it's not easy to do.  There are certain triggers - words, phrases, looks, & the like - that immediately take us to another place in time.  One where we were hurt, disappointed, forgotten about or overlooked.  Or where were happy, joyful, blissful, or floating on cloud 9.  When that happens we unconsciously turn back into the person we were then, if only for a moment.  However, the outcome is almost always not the same as it was then, or as we perceive it will be this time.  The test is to move past the soundtrack that's replaying in your head & see where it really goes.  Easier said than done, I know.

• "So much of language is unspoken. So much of language is comprised of looks & gestures & sounds that are not words.  People are ignorant of the vast complexity of their own communication."

This goes perfectly with what I said about a year ago, about texting & important conversations.  There are SO many little nuances that we pick up on without even realizing it!  Just as you wouldn't imagine proposing over a text or email (I hope!) there are some things that just require a face to face conversation.  I know it's not always possible but even talking as opposed to texting/typing is better with the differences in tone & delivery. 

On a night like this

There are times that looking back over the past can be entertaining, painful, insightful, or enlightening.  I've taken a picture a day for a year, twice.  I have to admit it's nice to look over those pictures to get an instant reminder of that particular moment in time - what was going on in the world, my little corner of it, or my state of mind.  Perhaps with this there may be a more telling view into my mind at the moment & for years to come.

Perfection, at least in a relationship, is really a myth.  To quote the saying "there's only 2 imperfect people who are willing to overlook the flaws of the other".  As I told someone just tonight -

"It's better to look for someone who is willing to put the work that is required for a successful relationship & someone who you're willing to do the same for. That the whole of the relationship is worth more than the individual parts."

There's a thought that love & relationships shouldn't be work that they should just be perfect or at least not require work or effort to maintain.  But think about it.  If you want to maintain something, say your house or car or even your hair color, you have to do some kind of maintenance or up keep with it.  Why wouldn't a relationship between 2 different individuals with their own thoughts, hopes, dreams, & feelings take some work to maintain?

Is this what the world has come to?

I like texting.  Who doesn't?  I love the little bits of "Hi I was thinking of you" & the day long conversations & the "Morning sunshine" texts that may be waiting for me when I wake up.  But there is something lost through texting.  Assumptions are too easily made, emotions can be lost or never even seen, & there's a connection that's lost even for all of our being connected.  But when important conversations begin to happen over text & the actual face to face conversation seems to die we as a world will be in trouble.

Have we all gotten to the point that our lives are to be lived in text conversations?  In the 140 characters of Twitter?  Status updates on Facebook?  To be honest I'm not even sure if anyone will find this & actually read it.  Attention spans have become much shorter & I know mine has as well, so it will be interesting to see what happens.

In a world of everybody sharing everything about their life from their sex life, relationships, & what they had for lunch, I find I'm still a fairly private person.  Oddly enough though if asked a question I'm more than willing to share the answer.  Most people though don't ask the questions for fear of the answer or of coming off as too nosy or not knowing what questions to ask.  And yet, I also have a desire to write out my thoughts, feelings and life events in some kind of forum - while maintaining some semblance of anonymity.  I'm an open book, if you ask the questions.  If you believe anything about astrology I guess I come by that trait honestly, being a Cancer.

Ah yes love.... Such a thing that's desired by nearly everyone but yet nearly everyone is afraid of it.  What is it about this emotion that turns people every which way imaginable?  Logically no one would jump off a cliff without a parachute but that's exactly what love requires of us.  There is no guarantee when it comes to love.  Failed relationships & failed marriages abound in the world, with divorce rates higher than the rates of success.  Lord knows I've had my share of failures on that front.  Yes, there were some heartaches but there were some good times.  Overall, I've met some great people who just weren't great for me. 

One of the hardest lessons in life when it comes to love, or the potential for it, is to leap without a net.  To have faith that if you leap the net will appear - to jump & grow wings on the way down.  Some people can't do that & yet they still may find love.  Some people constantly leap & yet are still unable to find what they are searching for.  I refuse to give up on the hope, on the promise, of what may be.  Don't get me wrong I'm still afraid of being hurt, of finding out I'm not enough for someone.  But the alternative is even less appealing.  I'm certainly a work in progress on this and many other things - but that's life.  Really that is the only constant in life, to change, to grow, to develop who & what you are. 

Tis the season

It's been about 4 years since I've really had the Christmas spirit.  It will be 4 years ago this January, the 5th, that my dad passed away after a long period of various health issues.  In the time following his death, I got divorced, went back to school taking pre-reqs for the nursing program, got accepted into the nursing program, dove into the depths of online dating, started a new job as a unit tech at the hospital, & failed a rotation of nursing school. 

Divorce - Old news, really not even worth wasting my time on any of the story.  I'm so much better off & far happier than I had been the last few years of my marriage!

School - A hellish nightmare doesn't even begin to cover nursing school!  There's stress & then there's nursing school.  Where every answer is technically correct but you need to get the most correct answer.  It's a life constantly hanging by a thread.  It completely sucked giant hairy monkey balls that I failed a rotation.  Which means that I'm currently out of the program but can reapply & start fresh next fall.  I have one chance to pass next year.  Nursing school will not defeat me, even though it will do its damnedest I will come out with my RN the spring of 2015.

Hospital - I really enjoy my job as a unit tech (CNA, nurses aid, etc...).  That being said I will be very happy to finally be an RN & having the nursing responsibilities.  But by working as a CNA I will have a much better appreciation for the work & help they provide me as a nurse!

Online Dating - Oh my lord!!  Some good, some bad, some just plain creepy.  I think the whole idea of online dating needs to be taken with a block of salt.  With that being said the few guys that I meet the "old fashioned way" ie. at the bar were no prize either!  There will be stories... of that you can be sure!