Thursday, March 5, 2015


What's important to you?  In your life, your work, your past, your relationships, your future?

For me, in romantic relationships, there are 3 things that tend to be of priority importance to me.  Beyond the usual/standard important things everybody, including the "experts", agree are required for a successful relationship.  Those being - communication, honesty, faithfulness, sense of humor, respect... you can google the other things the experts say are necessary.

With all those expert things in place & the spark/chemistry/desire....  Once I'm in a relationship the top 3 things that are important to me, that show me love, security, confidence, & importance are: Time, Touch, & Words.

Time - Spending time together.  It doesn't have to be anything grand or even anything special, just time. Sitting in a coffee shop reading different books.  Lounging on the couch watching a movie.  Road trip singing along to the radio.  Walking through town in the rain. Doing laundry or running errands.  A week long vacation to a new location doing something you've never done.  Even taking a nap or sleeping together tangled up like a pretzel.  Simply time spent together. 

Touch - Again something simple that speaks volumes to me.  Holding hands, an arm over your shoulder or mindlessly playing with your hair.  Kisses on your neck, a hand on the small of your back, a long hug that melts tensions away.  There was a movie I saw years ago.  I think it was called "The Story of Us".  It's about a couple that's going through a hard time in their marriage possibly even getting divorced.  There's a line the husband says (referring to when they were in bed sleeping) "As long as our feet touched, I knew we'd be ok".  I can relate to a certain extent.  I always seek out my partner through the night.  I may not touch him every minute of the night, but if I wake up at all, even for 2 seconds I always reach out for him - with a hand, arm, butt, leg or just a foot.  Another reason why I'm a fan of both people sleeping naked - more skin to connect with, to feel, to reach out for.  There's connection in skin, an intimacy in it all.

Words - Something simple, or elaborate.  An epic sonnet professing undying love or a simple sticky note with "missed you" placed on the bathroom mirror.  A "good morning beautiful" text or "love you" whispered as your falling asleep.  Hearing that he thought about you during the day, missed you, thinks your beautiful, loves your little quirks & laughs at your silliness.  Hearing that your special someone is proud of you, impressed by something you said or did.  Respects your thoughts & opinions & asks about them.  Cute pet names & inside jokes.  Willing to share hopes, dreams, fears & plans.  Tells you how he feels about you & confirms what you may have thought based on his actions/gestures. 

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